Malaise (2021)

 
 
Lilou & John

MALAISE (2021)

You dream of a storm. You can’t go back to sleep. What is wrong? You don’t know. You just know.

The term for what you feel is malaise. You just can’t your finger on it, or maybe the wrongdoings are too big to even comprehend. It could be economy. It could be family. It could be demographics. It could be architecture. It could be environment. It could be much.

This album is for you who feel malaise. It is for the rag dolls, for the moth girls, for the things in the void and the runaway lovers who all desperately try to make sense in a matrix designed to keep them locked in a 2D flat projected world of constant consumption and ever-expanding bureaucracy.

Most songs are somehow connected to the malaise of love or perhaps what is left when love has been prohibited by law, replaced by another assortment or emotions on the supermarket shelf or banned by the super-ego.

It is the search for love, the end of love, the ache of love, the absence of love and the love that will last forever.

Malaise is also the story about a way out. It answers no questions and offers no solutions. It only suggests a direction: Away. ”I am so fed up by the hypocrisy of society” a friend wrote. ”I have never met so many cowardly and dishonest people gathered in one place”.

That is Malaise. The notion. The awareness. The insight that there can be no cure when people themselves are the disease.

We are the eclectic heterodox shadowband Lilou & John creating music for introspective dissent in Drone City. You are the questioner, the sceptic, the searcher who sees the crowds move in mass psychotic rhythm to the call of the siren.

We are here to tell you that you are not alone. We see what you see.

Bandcamp

 
THE WATER SPRITE

I’ve had my heart broken twice
I’ve had my soul split in two
Down by the black river bank
Down where the full moon was new

I met my love in the grass
I met my love in the rain
The leaves of willows hanged low
The leaves that knew my name

He walked his way cross the field
He walked his way cross the moon
The grass was black and free
The grass was dying soon

And his heart was still pounding and warm
When I tore it from his flesh
His eyes were still calling out
Please have forgiveness

I met my love in the grass
I met my love in the rain
And every whisper was true
And every word was my name

He left my hand lying cold
He left my hand and I knew
There was a field and a moon
But not a whisper was true

And his heart was still pounding and warm
When I tore it from his flesh
His eyes were still calling out
Please have forgiveness

Who could have the moon and grass
That grew high in the field
Who could know the moon walked cross the field

I’ve had my heart broken twice
I’ve had my soul split in two
Down by the black river bank
Down where the full moon was new

THE RED POPPY

Lover
I wished it was all just a dream
A nightmare that left me the second I felt you
Next to me holding me tight
Knowing that nothing could harm me

Lover
I wished it was all just a dream
That your hand caressed me and that I could feel you
Next to me holding me tight
Knowing that nothing could scare me

Lover
I wished it was all just a dream
But when your hand left me and I could not feel you
Next to me holding me tight

I knew that nothing could save me

Lover
I wished it was all just a dream
But no one caressed me and all I could feel through

The reaper holding me tight
Was that his hands were the only
Hands I would ever feel
Hands I would ever feel

SERPENT BOULEVARD

My hands bleed from the blood on the floor
Cut with glass shaped like diamonds
Splinters of glass sparkle like eyes
Staring back from oblivion

The ceiling hangs from white walls
Like a river running over the edge
A waterfall washed away
From a glacier in my skin

Lovely sting
And glowing shade
Swimming deep
Down to the serpent

I move my head like a beast
With eyes ripped open by my claws
Scars cling onto the wound like eggs
From currents washing me to sea

My ivory eyes look into a world
Colored on canvas by hand

Suns imploding on pastures of green

Hovering over my abyss

Lovely sting
And glowing shade

Swimming deep
Down to the serpent

The loudspeakers scream I’m not alone

Just like the fading northern lights
Sucked out in orbit and vanished like air

In the heat of a black hole

The vivid glass of sparkling wine
That weighs like a star in my hand
Drowning myself in the pills of the gods
I ascend into silence

Lovely sting
And glowing shade
Swimming deep

Down to the serpent

Lovely sting
And glowing shade
Swimming deep
Down to the serpent

NECROTIC NORA

You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel

You will never find love
Love is nothing that you can keep in a box
It can fly away and disappear into nothing

For you’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel

You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel

You will never find love
Love is nothing you can hide in your heart
It can turn to dust and disappear into nothing

For you’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel

Yeah you’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel
You’re hanging like a rag doll over a spike of steel

You will never find love
Love is nothing you can find in a shop
It will crush your heart and disappear into nothing

 
UMBRELLA POEM

All alone with you under an umbrella
In a city we’ve never been to
And we hear the metro train carved in rock
Underneath the street light
All alone with you here at the bus station
Where the clouds are white and silver
Six a clock the early morning cold light rain
After stormy weather

And you saw in my eyes
In my heart
Saw the open window
And I saw in your eyes
In your heart
Saw our tomorrow

All alone with you under an umbrella
Came up from the metro
And I ask you baby I could see them sell
Vegan on the corner?
And you light a cigarette with one last smile
Though we gave up smoking
It is just a light for all the ones we left
Before we crossed the border

And you saw in my eyes
In my heart
Saw the open window
And I saw in your eyes
In your heart
Saw our tomorrow

All alone with you under an umbrella
Slow the rain is falling
And I raise my camera up to the sky
Across the clouded river
Six and twenty is the bus to cross the bridge
Away from Purge and Purdah
And you say oh baby you are all I have
You are my redeemer

And you saw in my eyes
In my heart
Saw the open window
And I saw in your eyes
In your heart
Saw our tomorrow

GOTHENBURG

Falling in love with you
With you
Falling in love with you
With you

You are my way home

Falling in love with you
With you
Falling in love with you
With you

You are my way home

Falling in love with you
With you
Falling in love with you
With you
Falling in love with you
With you
Falling in love with you
With you

You are my way home

Falling in love with you
With you
Falling in love with you
With you

You are my way home

MALAISE

I am a thing
I am a thing in a void

I am a mass psychotic humanoid

I am a read

I am a read on a site
I am a pixel in fluorescent light

And I’m breaking free

I am a vote
I am a vote in a fraud

I am a servant of a silicon god

I am a buy
I am a buy in a shop
I am a who in Global Village doing what?

And I’m breaking free

I am a glitch

I am a glitch on a screen

I am a question in a waking dream

I am a slave
I am a slave on the run
In the scope of every silicon gun

And I’m breaking free
And I’m breaking free
And I’m breaking free

TEQUILA METAMORPHOSIS

Be my guest in the partyhat
Be my cold tequila
Be my chit chat be my mingling
Firewater zilla


Be my dress and be my make up
Be the black tuxedo
Be my shot and be my laughing
High percent libido

Animals that come to dance
See the disco light in trance
The night is long for a child of the moon
Moth girl rising from her cocoon

Be my fancy smalltalk dream
Be my dance floor rhythm
Be my eyelids flickering
Lost to all who see them

Be my night club be the barman
Be my jewelry shining

Be the slow walk of shame

Be the silver lining

Animals that come to dance
See the disco light in trance
The night is young for a child of the moon
Moth girl rising from her cocoon

Be my headache be the curtains
Be the cellphone ringing
Be the neighbors blaring hifi
GG Allin singing

Be my watch that’s three pm
Be my morning shower
Be the moth prepared to fly
The liquid midnight flower

Animals that come to dance
See the disco light in trance
The night is young for a child of the moon
Moth girl rising from her cocoon