100 Faces (2016)

HE BROKE MY NECK, JOSÉPHINE

He broke my neck – yes he did, Joséphine, this cannot be, it must be a dream. I see you cry beyond the black veil – you are so beautiful and yet so frail.

For months I have tried to take you away, but you were too scared and decided to stay. You said that we could not survive on our own – two ten-year-old girls without any home.

He broke my neck – yes he did, Joséphine. You wonder how everything could might have been. But sweet love, do not blame yourself for my death – I will always be your ‘Lizabeth.

Every time he hurts you, my love, I look down at you like a star from above – so close to you but not there by your side, I would have kissed you had I been alive.

He broke my neck – yes he did, Joséphine – your father who found the small space between the roof and the wall, where you kept me from him, waiting for our new life to begin.

You are so hungry, too pale and too cold – I know, Joséphine, you will never grow old. Slowly he breaks down your body and heart, your father that killed me and tore us apart.

He broke my neck – yes he did, Joséphine, but I can still reach you throughout every dream. Someday you’ll find me, your ‘Lizabeth, then we will be free in the silence of death.

Yes we will be free in the silence of death.

SIX YEAR FAREWELL

Let’s go to Paolo’s, walk in the rain, go to the zoo today, catch a train – go anywhere we wanna go, drink ’til dawn, forget that I was one day even born.

Let’s do a nightclub, or picnic in the parks – sit there in the grass, listen to the larks – pretend they are in love, though they are not, let me forget I saw what I forgot.

That’s it – what I want is what I get. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget.

Let’s say I love you – fingers crossed, let’s say I know what I’ve lost. I wanna get away, stay anyway, forget what I desire – cut the pain.

I’ll buy myself a ton of sleeping pills, call it accessories for deeper thrills, pretend I’m happy – need no break, lie and forget that I am fake.

That’s it – what I want is what I get. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget.

Let’s say we go separate ways, we could meet again someday. It’s a lie – I know – that is true, my biggest lie is “I love you.”

That’s it – what I want is what I get. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget. Yeah, I’m only happy when I forget.

100 FACES

You think you know the part of me that is not skin and bone – trapped behind my 100 faces, I am all alone. I stare out through a veil of glass that’s never gonna break – on the outside I am just the one you want – a fake.

Rainy day, the umbrellas are up and running all along the street. First of may, puddles of water splashed onto my naked feet.

I walk alone, I wear no clothes, I wear no make up, no perfume – just a dream where I can be the one no one has ever seen.

Bird of prey, I walk into the park and see the hawk with silicon eyes. Seize the day, be hungry for more, and passionate, and live your life.

Polished chrome, my face is like a 50’s big American car. Just a dream, I am a faded memory, a perfect sunshine machine.

GOD

I saw you on the night sky, in a space suit from Soviet. I saw you climb for freedom over the Berlin wall. I saw you drive a racing car, sign up for New York Jets. More than that I cannot recall.

I saw you in a uniform on sepia photographs. I saw you in your glasses at Charles de Gaulle. I heard you had negotiated peace in Vietnam. More than that I cannot recall.

But I know, your life was just a mesmerizing dream I told myself, to hide away all that I had seen.

I saw you talk to natives in Papua New Guinea. I saw the world cup final, when you scored that goal. I saw you win the marathon on our color TV. More than that I cannot recall.

But I know, your life was just a mesmerizing dream I told myself, to hide away all that I had seen.

I saw you race to Antarctica on the open seas. I heard you on the radio, the God of rock and roll. I saw you with a Nobel prize in white laboratories. More than that I cannot recall.

But I know, your life was just a mesmerizing dream I told myself, to hide away all that I had seen.

WHEN MURDER VICTIMS DIE

My eyes they mesmerized me, when I was a kid. Saw beyond the seas of blue, saw beyond the lids – caught by my own torture, isolated by my own wish to survive where all I could was die.

Mirrors they deceived me, told me who I was. Said to me “remember, all that you have lost. This is your life, abandoned by your family, cast out into the abyss of a raging sea.”

Voices caught me freezing, coming from the dark of the bedroom corners – the whisper from my heart: “beware, oh little soldier, your sword is made of wood. Just remember, when you die, you did the best you could.”

Endless was the long line of empty shallow days, behind the wall of self deceit where I chose to stay. I came out to the starlight – the nights that were so clean – just the fading torture from a mesmerizing dream.

At night the wind was chilly – at least I wasn’t home. Werewolves out for children left my mind alone. I wasn’t scared of ghosts there, they hid within the walls of the house where death awaited behind the wooden door.

“Hallowed be thy name,” they said, but I knew they were wrong. There is a pit where gods and devils will not stay for long – a fear so deep and painful it makes a demon cry. Alone it is, alone when, murder victims die.

My eyes they mesmerized me when I was a kid – locked myself out from the world, scared behind the lids – caught by my own torture, isolated by my own wish to survive where all I could was die – my own wish to survive where all I could was die.