Dissidentica (2017)

VIA DOLOROSA

Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own? Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own?

I see your shade, pale through the water – I do not know if I should stay or should I go? I touch my hair, like yours I used to – it seems like all the world has lost its sense to me.

A waterfall – this morning shower – warm and still I feel the chill all through my soul. I listen to a voice so endless, I cannot grasp it is my own that sounds so sad.

Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own? Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own?

I used to be more than a shadow. I used to think I was your love and you were mine. I feel the touch of my own fingers, and for a second I can feel a broken glass.

I will not die, will not surrender, but there is nothing left that I can call my life. I want to feel your soul and body, but when I do I feel the cut that drains my heart.

Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own? Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own? Why won’t you go? Why won’t you leave me? Why won’t you find another girl to call your own?

THE GIRL FROM ANTARCTICA

Mommy, you walk out the door. Golden rings all over the floor. Daddy, you won’t go with style, you’ll be lonely when you die.

Mommy, get those knickers on. I am fed up, I am gone. Daddy, get a grip on life – I refuse to be your wife.

You’ll be lonely, when you die.

Mommy, pay the rent for once. Life is not just sex and dance. Daddy, come on get a job – making money makes no snob.

Mommy, stop this moving round, or stay some six feet underground. Daddy, booze don’t make it fun, when everyone but me has gone.

You’ll be lonely, when you die.

Mommy, I am not your toy – don’t wanna play your girl-meets-boy. Daddy, you laugh when I’m hurt – drag me down into your dirt.

Mommy, no, I won’t have sex with your boyfriend Mr X. Daddy, don’t you understand? You’ve sunk as low as humans can.

Mommy, this is my last call. Without you, I will never fall. Daddy, there is much to say, but that is all too late today.

You’ll be lonely, when you die. And that is all too late, today.

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM

A bird came down on wings of fire, from the star of sparkling red. He raised his head to the morning sky to honor Masada’s dead. And the sky was black and the city quiet, and the shadows walked alone. Only God would know the answer to why they were not home.

A wind came down on wings of heaven, from the fires of our land. In each heart we lay the flower, that only grows in sand. And as the sun was slowly rising over the city paved in gold, the star of David was still flying in every woman’s hand.

Only God could know the answer to why they were not home.

SOLFERINO

But what did I know as the evening was falling on the green fields of Solferino? What did I know as I felt how the morning wind blew over Solferino?

I laid by his side as the wind started blowing into his fading blue eyes. I laid by his side as he started speaking words that he barely pronounced. I laid by his side and I heard what he told me, as guns started roaring again. I laid by his side and felt how my brother turned cold and my arms couldn’t hold him.

”Death is an angel that comes from above, in a shroud of silk white winds. Death is a rose by the side of the road, a star that shines from above. Death is a voice that speaks softly and deep, about things beyond our world. Death is a mirror in which we can see all those beloved and grieved.”

But what did I know as the evening was falling on the green fields of Solferino? What did I know as I felt how the morning wind blew over Solferino?

”Death is a candle that burns in the sky, that takes us to kingdoms unknown. Death is a tallship with sails painted black, on seas where no sailor is seen. Death is a whisper we hear through the veil, from shadows we can barely feel. Death is the touch from an infinite God, watching us grow and decay.”

But what did I know as the evening was falling on the green fields of Solferino? What did I know as I felt how the morning wind blew over Solferino?

”Death is a battle where heroes are rising from mud into ethereal triumph. Death is the ocean where all rivers end, where fishermen set off at dawn. Death is the soft hand that carry us over the gorge where no mortals can walk. Death is a sister that waits by your side until the journey is over.”

But what did I know as the evening was falling on the green fields of Solferino? What did I know as I felt how the morning wind blew over Solferino?

BATACLAN

Death and war – that’s the only thing I’ve ever known. Fuck the whore! The rule of infidels is overthrown. Kill them all! Just cut their heads off, let the bodies rot. Heed the call! Listen to the heartbeats as they stop.

So, lock your door! Bar your window! Hide your soul! Cause I’m coming for you.

They will fall – among the ruins there’s a deep mass grave. Rape them all! Prisoners of war no one will save. Girls and boys – they sold themselves to Satan long before. Got no choice – the West is nothing but eternal war.

So, lock your door! Bar your window! Hide your soul! Cause I’m coming for you.

No more room for anything but death in your own Hell. Kiss the moon! I have no sympathy for infidels. Grind them down! Rape and kill and watch their dirty children die! Burn the town! See the fire spread and reach the sky!

So, lock your door! Bar your window! Hide your soul! Cause I’m coming for you.

9/11

You closed the door to the chamber where everything stops. You turned on the gas with the hands you stole from the savior. You let a smirk crawl up like an angel past your cheekbone, when you heard the news that Warsaw lost to Königsberg.

But did you not for once just wonder: “Oh God – what have I done?”

You knew right from wrong, you said, and raped the pale young woman. Then you watched her die in a mass grave in Kolyma. Her hands lost their grip on a baby clinging to her. They turned into ice as you saw the winter come.

But did you not for once just wonder: “Oh God – what have I done?”

You boarded the plane with the smile of a school child, sat next to an eight year old girl from Iowa. Then you and your brothers took control of the airplane – heard the screams in panic as you saw New York.

But did you not for once just wonder: “Oh God – what have I done?” But did you not for once just wonder: “Oh God – what have I done?” But did you not for once just wonder?

SPIRIT OF AMERICA

From Europe they came, and gave it its name, this great nation founded by migrants, who – united by faith – made this country so great, and gave their lives fighting the giants. Just like Nathan Hale, their spirits prevailed, say “bow not, but stand up to tyrants!”

America! America!

And they built the land with the engineers’ hands, and the gun and the Christ and the cattle. They saw it come true, what God only knew, this union of grain and of metal – and over the sea, throughout history, they came and they saw and they settled.

America! America!

And the people who fought for the freedom they sought, they prevailed and they conquered the mountains. In the old village church, all the wars of the earth stretched out like waves far beyond counting. They knew that a land needs a gun to withstand, when the hammer of Hell comes a-pounding.

America! America! America!

PAYBACK DAY

Betrayal, yes life was betrayal – a sewer that’s where you were born, born to a life of indifference, prejudice, violence and scorn. You learned that trust was a bastard, tried to rise after each blow, crawled in the dirt on your knuckles – you swore you’re the last one to go.

And they called you a Nazi, boy – refused to be somebody’s toy, disgusted by their lies.

Shunned by the fake news media – who called you extreme right wing – they gave you the sign of an outcast, but you swore to never give in. Your brother was too scared to fight back – wore hammer and sickle for free – and while he was smashing windows, you started earning money.

And they called you a Nazi, boy – refused to be somebody’s toy, disgusted by their lies.

They got you to mental asylum – your brother a job for the press. They tore out your heart but they never could stop the beat in your chest. But the resistance was rapidly growing, and one day they pushed you too far. You tore off the shackles and said “boy, never forget who you are!”

And they called you a Nazi, boy – refused to be somebody’s toy, disgusted by their lies.

A free man – you walked out a free man – and stood on a rooftop and screamed: “the ruling classes divide us in the name of diversity. And crime has been spreading like cancer – the people on top suck us dry!” You picked up a two barreled shotgun, said “shoot me but I will not die!”

And they called you a Nazi, boy – refused to be somebody’s toy, disgusted by their lies.

And you screamed all over the city: “stop believing their lies – made up to keep them in power, and make you a slave ’til you die!” So slowly you took up a matchbox, said “hell to this shit, let it burn! And you knew your brother was running, for payback – that’s one thing you’d learned.

And they called you a Nazi, boy – refused to be somebody’s toy, disgusted by their lies – disgusted by their lie.